Three questions we'll answer

Can we really change the core of our relationship?

Counselling, date nights, books, new rules. They work on how you talk, and they help for a while. We'll show you what has to change underneath first, and why the talking starts to work once it does.

Will it last?

A good weekend fades by the next Tuesday. You'll see what keeps love growing on ordinary days, for years, and why it takes minutes, not grand gestures.

What happens when we fight?

You will. Every couple disagrees. We'll show you how to stay on the same team while you do, so a fight stops turning the two of you against each other.

Save My Seat

Michael and Penny holding hands outdoors, smiling at each other

Who we are

We came close to the edge ourselves, nearly twenty years in. What turned it around for us is what we teach. We'll tell you the whole story on the call.

Michael Trachtman is an ordained rabbi who has spent decades sitting with married couples and families.

Dr. Penny Gold's work is informed by her 35 years as a licensed clinical psychologist.

Together we lead workshops, retreats and ceremonies for couples who have usually tried everything sensible already.

More about us What couples say

Before you sign up

Can I come without being seen?

Yes. It's a Zoom webinar, so your camera and microphone stay off. Nobody else on the call can see you or hear you, and only the two of us can see who's there.

Join under any first name you like. We record the session, and you won't be in the recording unless you raise your hand and choose to come on and talk with us. Plenty of people just listen the first time.

What if I can't make it on Thursday?

Come live if you possibly can, though. It's an hour set aside just for this, and the last part is open for questions, which we answer on the spot. You can type yours in the chat without giving your name. A replay can't answer you back.

Do I need to bring my spouse?

No. Most people come on their own the first time, and only one of you needs to be there to start. Near the end we talk about how to bring it up with your spouse, if you want to. Couples who come together are just as welcome.

What if we're not married?

You're welcome. We say "marriage" because most of the people who come are married, but everything we teach works for any couple in a committed relationship.

Is it too late for us?

Probably not. Many of the people who come are sleeping in separate rooms, living parallel lives, or have already said the word divorce out loud. We came close to the edge ourselves, nearly twenty years in.

If part of you still wishes it could be different, that's enough to start.

We've already decided to divorce. Is this for us?

If the decision is made and you're at peace with it, then no, and we respect that.

If it's decided but part of you is still asking whether it could be different, come. Nothing in the hour asks you to change your mind. You'll leave knowing what the third way would take, and you can decide with that in front of you.

Is it really free?

Yes. Near the end we tell you about our retreat, for anyone who wants to go further. You don't need it to use what you learn in the hour.

What if I don't feel safe with my spouse?

Then this isn't the right place to start, and we'd rather tell you now. Please talk to someone who specialises in that.

In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is free and confidential, any hour: call 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

I want to make my marriage better.

If you're awake at 2 am with this, you're not the only one.